lung cancer

dearest
you've gone off the deep end again
you're drowning in your own attempts to be someone you're not
and I'm not here to play lifeguard
when I've got a closet full of my own skeletons to let loose
you don't like reminding me of those
for fear that you won't be the troubled one anymore
so you've stopped screaming to be saved
as either a (silent) call for help
or a total surrender to this way of life
where two hits of E take you much higher on a daily basis
and you have the nerve to preach about right and wrong
while your friends lecture me about music and philosophy
I hope they make you feel important
you've retired for the evening
but I'll stay up watching and learning
about this new way of life
these new people you've chosen to protect
these people in military jackets and bandannas
spouting slang from around the world
I could never be one of them
I could never be one of them
I repeat to myself in the back of my mind
bumming american spirits
because my menthols won't cut it
you scream from the bedroom
about love and hate and everything in between
and when the morning finally dawns
you've forgotten what you were going to do with yourself
and you leave without noticing
that I'm already gone.