this.is.it

FUCK.

I'm done with boys

why did they have to come to college

I'm done with emotions

why did they have to come to college also

I'm done with being a girl

why can't we shut of said emotions like said boys

I'm done with pretending that my life's a cake walk

why can't I just scream out my insecurities from the top of this building

I'm done feeling stupid

why couldn't I have gotten my shit together before I left

I'm done with my work ethic

why can't I ever get anything done

I'm done looking over my shoulder

why can't he just pop into view and make me smile

I'm done thinking this is going to make me happy

why don't I just look somewhere else

I'm done with college

why can't Ijust go back to high school where things were simpliar

I'm done ranting and raving

why can't I just figure out what I want









I was stupid. friday night was a stupid choice. I should never invest my emotions to their full potential. I hate boys that know they can get with you. I hate them. they make me want to scream. I can see it now: I get my hopes up, he lets them down. where have I seen this before? oh yeah! with every other guy I've ever been with. FUCK THEM. they know nothing. sure, there are? SERIOUSLY! what did I do to deserve this. I'd be the perfect girlfriend. great sex. I'm a good listener. I'm good at reading emotions. I'll never push. I'm just fucking worried about my sanity at this point in time. I've partied every weekend that I've been here, and even on some week nights. I'm so stupid. I just need to get my head out of the clouds and focus. think. realize. contemplate. discover. observe. ask. show. tell. EXPERIENCE.

tell me I'm not going crazy