I'm no longer comfortable in this room full of silence and I'm no longer able to live in this skin

so I've decided to write
with you to my left
buried in book and conversation
attention on everything
but the elephant in the room
keeping me from interjecting
while your roommates bullshit
the night away
things I'd usually find funny
hold no weight
as I'm struggling to figure out
exactly where I'm going with this

the mattress and pillows aren't as
inviting as they used to be
and the thought of sleeping here all night
catches me off guard
like I shouldn't be allowed
like this shouldn't be reality
because this time last week
was perfection
now I've been gone for two days
and my world no longer makes sense

so I don't blame this on you
and your perfect character
I blame this on too much thought
and not enough time to think it
so I hope you don't misinterpret
my silence
for something more than confusion
and I hope they don't read too far into my absence
even though they should

the singularity of my existence
rides on my ability to survive
these next few days
while I see how far the ties have been severed
in an attempt to reclaim my own being

I'm sorry it had to end this way