and so on

time for one more
where I try to convince myself
that you never happened
these nights keep getting longer
and I'm up to my shoulders in
dirt and grime
trying to decipher the meanings
behind missed calls and answering machines

disconnected from every word
you never even meant
throwing them in my direction
like I was made of glue
waiting to stick to your essence
regardless of your obvious flaws
that only become more obnoxious as the night wears on
you got what you wanted
now run along and play pretend

now I'm slipping
because these walls don't hold enough friction
to connect point A to point B
tumbling backwards down your spiral staircase
metaphor for falling from heaven
you aren't the one who took it all
I have to keep reminding myself of that

how many of you will there be
when all is said and done
how many of you will hold another piece of the puzzle
that no man will have the energy to put back together
that's why I lack the emotion necessary to be capable of love
I've already given up
given in
with whatever I have left
the smiles are fictional
and the streets keep calling my name

bad decisions decide my fate
so I've made enough to land me a permanent place
in this world of fake LA glamour one night stands and booze
if I thought I was drowning before...
there's only so much left to throw away
take out your dirty laundry
and the trash
your house reeks of indiscretion
of all of the women you've taken home
I couldn't ask to be a memory
even the day after the fact.