question: will somebody please come save me from being so alone in this fucking town? I'm dying. I need someone to love. love me. entertain me. remember me.

the weather report

I woke up to bad news
words ripping off the roof from over my head
leaving me to boil in the heat
of what can only be described as hell
because my anger only angers you
and you won't let me speak my piece
ultimately drawing the wrong conclusions
and telling me I'm forgiven
when I was never to blame

I woke up to bad news
remembering that I was on my way back
to the cold that emanates from the town
that used to be my own personal hell
because I've run out of friends
and when I went looking for them
I only ended up with twice as many enemies
who can't remember why they hated me to begin with

I woke up to bad news
rolling over to an empty bed in a messy room
insulated by memories of miles away
when I wasn't so convinced in the existence of hell
but there I was happy with alone
because there were always other fish in the sea
and I was so good at this metaphorical fishing
that I didn't have time to realize how alone I really was

I woke up to bad news

the battle for steady ground

hey, how ya doin?
its been a while
your smile hasn't changed one bit
so I'm waiting for the backstabbing to begin

with your mouth full of dreadful phrases
meant to bring down an empire
you've claimed your territory
and made it clear that my invitation has been retracted
(but my plus one is still on the guest list
as long as he'll fuck you after the party)

I tried to play the part
and enter your kingdom
as a ghost from your past
but I couldn't get a word in edgewise
and your slurred speech
hung thick in the air
as you shot me down
again and again

now all of this I could live without
and all of this I could forget
if you hadn't taken her with you
and she hadn't become your puppet
because she was all I had to hold onto
in that godforsaken place you call home
and she was all I could remember
from the times before...

so you became the puppet master
pulling her strings
making her dance
teaching her phrases
all the while pretending that your time away
was spent slaying dragons
and making the most of yourself
vying for the title of queen
you'd claw your way to the top
and only wind up on your back again

returning seems like such a silly idea
when you've stationed your guards at every entrance
but I'll take my chances
with my head held high
ready for the battle that will ultimately ensue
I've taken precautions
and laced your drinks with poison
because I'd love to honor your wishes of
glamor and fame

oh, really?
ya don't say?
seems like you've been pretty busy lately
I'll wait for your smile to fade
while I reclaim whats mine

I've changes settings and scenes, time for you to take your final bow.

do you miss the words that spilled from my fingertips?
the ones about you?
the ones about our secrets?
the ones you never read?
because I've been thinking of that summer
and I've been thinking of that night
trying to grasp onto some logical reason
but it seems to be just out of my reach

I spent so many hours
writing to an empty room
about your smile
your laugh
your voice
and your eyes
that the silence begged for me to stop
and the clock refused to move on
until it was sure I'd be doing the same
but here I am again

was it the mention of your name?
or the thought of your existence
that brought it all to the surface
and reminded me about every lie you told
wasting my time
thinking of metaphors
you'd be able to grasp
never the intellectual,
that should have been a sign

these will be the last words
about your blue eyes
(I made a promise to my walls
and an oath to my clock)
I'll find another story to tell when this is over
but this book won't be dedicated to you
it will be for the next heartbreak
that consumes me
because it's the drama that keeps people reading
and it's only real
if the wounds are still raw