hello, my hero

machines strapped to machines
and the world gets heavier with each forced breath
I'm looking for a way to be a miracle
with my hands tied to my feet
I'm itching for a way to solve the problem
without becoming the problem myself
each second he falls a little further
while she surfaces a little more
and there's nothing as beautiful
as the beauty that eminates
from their every pore
her eyes fixed on the unseen
unconcious
he whispers in her ear about the
lights and the sounds
she'll understand later
I'm helpless
the room swarms with bees
trying to help in every way
without helping at all
I'm trapped in my memories
both good and bad
trying to decipher
when was the last time she laughed
and why can't I be the solution
while they glow with love
as luminesent as the day it was discovered
I'm swinging from limb to limb
trying to find my footing somewhere
I belong
I'm witnessing the myth of true love
become reality within their hands
the lights flicker and she coughs
because the weary can only rest for so long

spur

life was so much simpler
when metaphores flew over my head
because they had no meaning
in present tense
I told my stories
only to jump start my creative genius

I told you the truth
because you wouldn't believe me any other way
I blame myself for my lack of tact
but you were never tip-toeing around my feelings in the first place
you should have known the day would come
when your magic would wear out
and at the sound of your voice
I'd rather turn around and walk away

and I'll put on a smile for the happiness that was never real
it was always the idea that you'd change that kept me awake
until four in the morning
teaching myself about growing up
way too fast
someday you'll realize what you've done

now I'm keeping them at arm's length
telling myself that nothings reality when you live in fiction
because she loves happy endings
and we watch her cry through the goodbyes
I wish I had as much faith as I've pretended to have
for the better part of my
better years

I've gave up on trying to find perfection
because I know there is no such thing
I'm finding my way from drink to drink
and bed to bed
without the regret I thought I'd feel
it only means nothing if I keep my heart out of the discussion
when it gets involved it all goes downhill
so I've kept it in a corner
I'm happier this way
safe from the monsters in every blind spot

I won't bend or break to your words
because you only want so much
I couldn't ask for any more than I've already gotten

here's the cause
tell me how these words are going to effect you.

run, run

hunger pains
while migrains
because I've picked up the habit
and I've but down the bottle
(specail deal, one night only)
still awaiting a call that will never come
because I've given up my diginity
for a good converstation
and a good fuck

I've doubled my numbers
welcome to our hell hole
because we've never learned
to wipe our slates completely clean
of all our quoteunquote sins
the ones we can't remember are the ones
that haunt us the most
and we'll be drowning ourselves
in our liquid amniesa as soon as
tomorrow night remembers to call us back

the night has worn on longer
than I orignally expected it to
I left it to the purple haze
that envelopes this city once the
sun disappears
and I've learned to stop my breathing
until my cigarette has been ashed
and I can throw it to the breeze

now memories of memories
of something that will never matter
push my thoughts to the corners of my mind
and I'm antsy waiting
once again for what I've decided is my purpose in life:
to wait

so they've all left me
and I'm left with what they've forgotten
only to be forgotten again
by the people who have yet to leave
(circular logic)

goodnight