accomplishments and disasters

I'm listening to the same words over and over
hoping that eventually something with resonate with me
tell me where to go
and how to handle every situation
that's thrown in my face
but I'm still not as fucked up as these starving artists
and my downward spiral seems to be looking up

still I'll listen
dedicating each verse to the people I'll never see again
wishing I could send them a letter
and tell them exactly why I'm done waiting for a response
find the highest point in town and scream
"this is for you, you and you
the ones who forgot the lengths I went through
just to keep you afloat for the past five years
I hope you're happy now
as a memory"
looking down at all the little faces
knowing that my audience is deaf
doesn't help the process

so I've been considering my options
only to find that I've run out
and I'm stuck chain smoking on the sidewalk
wondering why I'm so far from everyone
that they've stopped trying to yell in my direction
just to get my attention
and they've resorted to meaningless texts and emails
telling me about their day
thinking that I give a damn
unless, of course, I do

so where did the time go?
I blinked and we were right back where we started
only this time I have a few more notches in my belt
and this time you have a few more skeletons in your closet
all of which will be ignored
once we forget about all the good
that came from what once was evil